Many of us hear about success, we see it on instagram, we hear it on podcasts and have read countless books on how to be more successful.
One question that hasn’t been answered is how would you personally define what success means to you? What are your motives behind gaining success? And if success is what you want, how do you measure it and why do you want to attain it?
Success to me
was defined as “being rewarded for achievement” and that’s not even an achievement I personally aligned myself with.. Something I was “expected” to do.
I really had to contemplate on this to explore my personal motives. I will be clear, transparent and honest on where my motives were placed, why and how I began to be more aware to make a shift in my motives.
How I personally viewed my personal success always had to be measured, in kilos, percentage of fat, numbers in my bank account or worst of all “assurance”. Growing up, my success was measured by grades, golden stars or some kind of reward. Success to me was defined as “being rewarded for achievement” and that’s not even an achievement I personally aligned myself with.. Something I was “expected” to do.
We are undeniably part of this system, we cannot change it, however we can be aware of how we view it. My personal goals or aims were backed by motives that weren’t aligned with my values and preferences. When I started competing in Crossfit, my motives were always trying to prove that I can and I’m capable. To prove to others and prove to myself. If I had made podium or kicked someone’s ass in a workout I would feel good not because I had done great but showcasing I can do better than others. Qualifying for a competition and competing for me didn't mean I wanted to place myself on podium, it's starts with the clear intention of me enjoying the energies, workouts and have fun. But somehow I lose myself with the public's expectation of me making podium and find myself beating myself up for disappointing others.
My transparency will only open your eyes on how far this has gone in terms of putting myself under so much stress. Ramadan of 2017, I decided to take on Muay Thai because I enjoyed the sport, I wanted to prove to myself that I can do two sports and push myself further because if they can, so can I. My motives began to shift into a different energy and escalated into an injury that has left me out of 3 competitions I had aimed to take part in. The injury had set me back for 5 months, and so did my previous knee injury had me out for more than 6 months. As much as I do believe everything happens for a reason, I do also believe that events happen because of our intentions. We create where our intentions are place. Reflecting on my personal motives and intentions back then made me realize that I was always trying to prove something to someone or myself. But at what cost??
Some people define success with completing a workout. People define success with putting themselves in uncomfortable situations, persevering and then get credit for doing so. People define success by how much they can achieve. Or even worse putting someone on a pedestal and once you get recognition from that specific person, only then will you feel like you have “succeeded”.
Do you really want to continue to live your life for
others to give you a golden star on how you live??
This is truly deadly to many, chasing assurance, recognition and acceptance from others for the sake of feeling good about yourself? Do you really want to continue to live your life for others to give you a golden star on how you live?? You shouldn’t feel pressured or bullied into other people’s opinions.. YES OPINIONS. There is no truth to what they claim is to be successful. What is good for them isn’t necessarily good for you. What success means to them doesn’t have to mean the same for you.
I redefined success to align myself with my preferences and my passion. My goals also align likewise. Shifting my focus on the movement and alignment more than the outcome was very important for me. I began to release the urge to prove to myself I can be that person that people respect, I released that eagerness to prove others that I can do what I put my mind to. I release the need to prove myself to anyone.
Once and for all, I channel my energy towards my purpose and alignment. Success to me, is now that feeling of knowing that where I put my purpose is growing, evolving and coming to life to serve others.